Finding Peace in Chaotic Beijing: My Experience Staying With a Family in China

I had heard Beijing is a stressful city to travel through. Someone had described it to me as “the general population having no regard for human life,” as in, get out of the way or you’re going to get hit by a car, be prepared to be cut in line often, be prepared for people to touch you. Another person who had gone there recently on business read my Colombia piece, and said, “It’s a great article, but if there’s one place you definitely can’t go alone to; it’s China.”

Though the lack of personal space didn’t exactly sound like a dream, I was hellbent on getting to Beijing so I could finally see the Great Wall of China. The man who told me I shouldn’t go alone was the extra fuel to the fire. I was also really looking forward to trying some street food. When I was on a long-term backpacking trip around the globe, I was in Japan deciding where to go next. The original plan was to head to Taiwan, however, I saw a flight that flew from Japan to China to Taiwan, providing a 3-day layover in Beijing in between. This seemed like the most ideal way to knock out a major bucket list tick: seeing one of the new wonders of the world. This route allowed me to not apply for a proper Chinese tourist visa, where I could utilize the 144-hour visa instead. I booked the ticket.

After booking the ticket, I searched for accommodation. I wanted to stay in the city center. I was amazed to see everything was sold out. This is not an exaggeration. EVERYTHING. Not a single hotel available on booking.com, hotels.com, kayak.com. I searched HostelWorld, and the only option was a private room at a bed and breakfast for $68/night. This was way more than I was wanting to pay for anywhere in the world, but now with a flight booked and a determination to get there, it didn’t seem I had many other choices. The good news is, it was right next to The Great Wall.

Shortly thereafter, I realized the reason everything was sold out was because of a national holiday called “May Day.” Similarly to the US’s Labor Day, with the exception that May Day lasts an entire week. Basically, every single person in China was on vacation. This also effected business in Japan. I had spent quite a while in Japan, and planned to ship some clothes back to New York. That plan miserably failed when I learned that all post offices in Japan were closed, and led me to donating my clothing instead of shipping them home.

Whatever, I thought. I was headed to China come hell or high-water.

I knew I needed to download a VPN before arrival because apparently China’s internet access was wonky. Aside from the lack of personal space, there would apparently be no way to access my usual reliable apps: WhatsApp, Instagram, Facebook Messenger, even Gmail. Wanting to make sure I would be able to get in touch with anyone, the VPN was a necessity.

As I boarded the flight to China, I had crippling anxiety. I knew the visa process would be intense. That paired with the potential lack of internet freaked me out. To make matters worst, I was so sleep-deprived on that flight that I was convinced we were crashing when I heard a deafening silence about half-way through. Why was no one else reacting? We are 100% about to die, I remember thinking. Safe to say, sleep is important.

I landed at Beijing International Airport and headed down to the basement to hail a taxi. No taxis wanted to take me because apparently my bed and breakfast was extremely far away. I was confused. It said it was in Beijing near the Great Wall. Having never been to China before, however, it’s safe to say I was geographically challenged. I finally got a driver to agree to take me for a whopping $65. So much for Beijing being affordable. $65 ended up becoming a steal; the drive was almost 2 hours long.

Because we were in the car so long and I had zero service, I was convinced we had to be going the wrong way. But my driver spoke no English and there was no point in trying to bring it up. I was in it for the ride, but I was anxious beyond belief. Would this really be worth it? We finally arrived at ChengTaoXiaoZhu Folk Inn, the name of the bed and breakfast. As soon as I checked in and knew I was at the right place, I was able to relax, but not without wondering where the hell is all the action? I had heard Beijing was chaotic, packed, busy, fast-paced. Here? There was nothing but mountains. Where would I eat? Is there a place to get coffee? Exhausted from a day’s worth of traveling and with a grumbling stomach, I asked the host of the house where to get food.

“We serve food here!” she happily exclaimed. As I was gathering information, a young girl, maybe 5 years old, ran up to me and handed me a book to read to her. I started reading her this children’s book and was surprised by the atmosphere. I had no idea what to expect when booking this accommodation, and merely did it as a last minute resort due to nothing else being available. I was suddenly being fed hearty meals of dumplings, pork, bitter green veggies, and reading children books. Not the worst setup by any means.

The meal the host cooked for me came out, and I was taken aback. The portion was clearly meant for more than one person. It was in this moment I learned everything I’d eat over the next few days would be served family style. I tried to communicate they could give me less as to not waste food, but due to the language barrier, I decided I’d just do my best to eat as much as I could. After all, how many more meals in my life would I be able to say were from a Chinese family in China?

After some struggles, I got my VPN working and was able to connect with my sister to let her know I was in China and I was safe and sound. I went to my room, which was a 4-bed dormitory, but I was the only one in it. I got some much needed rest before venturing of to see The Great Wall of China the following morning.

When I woke up, I threw on my red dress that was custom-made for me in Hoi An, Vietnam, did my makeup, and went to the kitchen for some coffee. The family was up preparing breakfast, and not being a huge breakfast eater, I swapped substantial food for an extra cup of caffeine. I finally left the B&B and began walking to The Great Wall, advertised on HostelWorld as being only 5 minutes away. As I walked down the quiet road leading up to this world wonder, I couldn’t stop thinking, I can’t believe I’m in China. I had been to several countries by this point, but China felt momentous. Growing up, I had learned about The Great Wall, and always envisioned it as some far-off, different-planet type of place. I had also seen tags on almost every piece of clothing, toy, hat, electronic I’ve ever own saying “Made in China.” I thought back to the drunk, exhausted, backpacking couple my friend and I met at a bar in Tokyo, reiterating to us, “NEVER go to China. It is the dirtiest, grossest place in the entire world.”

Yet, here I was, walking along green grass, with a mountain backdrop that looked like I was in the Andes. This was certainly not the dirty, gross, lack-of-personal-space, crowded China I had been warned about by almost everyone I met. I was having quite the opposite experience. I was in the middle of nature, peace and quiet, in a serene setting, about to see a world wonder.

I arrived at The Great Wall and paid a small entry fee of under 10 USD. I started walking up the steep slope of the wall, which eventually led to a stairway. Unfortunately, there was litter all over the sides of it, and I couldn’t believe that at a place as pristine as The Great Wall of China, people couldn’t use a damn trash can. I don’t let this detail justify the stereotypes I had previously heard; I saw litter in the damn Maldives, and my own city of New York was a pig-stuy as well. People just suck when it comes to throwing out their trash.

I finally got to the top of The Great Wall, where I could hike as much or as little of it as I wanted. My fear of heights instinctually kicked in; if I fell over the narrow side, there wasn’t much to protect me. There were no gates or walls to keep pedestrians and tourists from simply slipping and falling over, and the pathway was made of a sand-like gravel. I decided taking baby steps was my best bet. Once I let my fear of heights dissipate, I stopped to take it all in. Perks to staying on the outskirts of the city? There was not a single soul in sight. I had this entire monument to myself. I have seen many world wonders in my day, but none have made me cry the way The Great Wall of China did. It is out-of-this-world stunning and surreal.

I walked along the wall for about 2 hours, and not wanting to go too far off the beaten path, I headed back to my Bed and Breakfast. The perks of staying this close to the wall was I still had another day in China, and since absolutely nothing else was even remotely close, I figured I could go two days in a row, leaving me to not feel rushed.

I decided to grab food from a small restaurant right next to the wall. I ordered a chicken dish, and when it came out, I immediately regretted that I didn’t utilize every meal with the family I had been staying with. Sure, the chicken was tasty, but it didn’t have the same love of knowing someone specifically prepared it for me.

I got back to the bed and breakfast and took a nap. I had been long-term traveling for about 5 months at this point, and I was tired. I had hardly slowed down. China forced me to, due to the sheer lack of nearly any activities going on nearby. I watched downloaded episodes of The Office on my laptop, and took a two-hour nap before waking up to eat dinner with the family.

When I headed out into the kitchen, there were plenty of other travelers there. I didn’t really talk to any of them, as most were couples enjoying romantic meals of split homemade dumplings and specially prepared meats. I saw they had something called “Chinese Cherry Wine.”

“What’s this?” I asked.

“It’s wine, but it’s very strong!” replied an older woman working at the house.

“I’ll try some.”

She handed me a small glass of deep red Chinese cherry wine, with one cherry at the bottom.

I drank the Chinese cherry wine, and as you can see in the video, it was strong. I considered it a night cap, and went to bed.

The next morning, though I had ambitions to re-visit The Great Wall, I was beat. I would have few days completely free like this coming up. The next day, I’d be meeting a friend in Taiwan, after that I’d be in the Maldives, then India, then country-hopping through the Middle East, and eventually, heading down to Tanzania to hike Kilimanjaro. I decided to take advantage of the situation, and relax. I worked on some blog posts, I budgeted out some finances (it was in China that I realized I was severely running out of money; I blame too much shopping in Japan), and arranged flights for a few of my upcoming destinations. I had to cancel flights to Lebanon and Ethiopia to replace it with a flight to the UK, since my sister and I agreed we were going to the Spice Girls reunion tour in Manchester, which took priority over all. Trying to make a phone call from a laptop with a VPN in China was not ideal, and the opposite of relaxing. I used Skype and finally managed to get through to an airline employee, who was able to help me navigate cancelling my flight.

I would occasionally come out of my room to hang out with the little girl who gave me the book on day one. She would show me her toys, books, and speak to me in the little bits of English she knew that she was learning in school. By dinner time, I was given my last family-style meal before heading off to the airport the next day, and maybe it was paired with the sadness of leaving this serene setting, but it was by far the best meal yet. It consisted of chopped pork, peanuts, scallions, paired with white rice, noodles, and several plates of veggies.

I slept well that night knowing my adventures were about to pick up at full-speed yet again. In the morning, one of the men working at the bed and breakfast offered to drive me to the airport, for a price, of course. The little girl with the book joined the car ride. She sat in the back seat with me, and about halfway through the drive, they started speaking in Mandarin to each other. Though I didn’t have a clue as to what they were saying, I could sense panic based on the looks on both of their faces. Before I knew it, the little girl was profusely vomiting in the back seat of the car, right next to me. This didn’t quite phase me. I guess traveling long-term desensitizes you in a lot of ways.

The man pulled over from the highway, and kept saying, “I’m sorry,” to me.

“It’s ok! Is she okay?” I continually replied. Poor kid.

We had to stop at an ATM so I could drain my bank account even more for this short-lived trip, to pay the driver.

I arrived at the airport and would be headed off to my next destination soon. The airport in Beijing is one of the most chaotic ones I’ve visited in the entire world; security made every single person empty EVERY SINGLE THING out of their bags; and I was fortunate enough to be behind a man who had an unreasonable amount of loose change throughout his duffel bag, so good thing I got there early. Also, they let all the men cut in front of me through security. I was finally next in line, and a man in a suit came behind me, and they told me to get out of the way so he could go first.

Despite the massive headache of getting the visa, being terrified that my bed and breakfast was so far away from the city, paying quadruple the price I would have had I visited when it was not a national holiday, and the stress of not knowing if a VPN would work, China was worth it all. I swooshed away those negative comments from my friends who had visited, the man who told me I should never go to China alone, the drunk couple in Japan who said steer clear, and I managed to find peace in a city everyone else experiences chaos in, much thanks to the generous family who opened their home to me. Oh, and I got to see a World Wonder while doing so.